An Act of Kindness

 

Boys growing up in the 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s were taught that modesty was a feminine quality and should not be part of being a man.   Those of us in the 60s and 70s were required to take Physical Education, usually in grades 7 through 12, which required the taking of a shower at the end of the period.   The first days of PE were quite awkward as we walked around fully naked with our fellow male students.  What was also learned, although not from any book or guide, was that there was an inviolable rule, a taboo, that two men never touch and especially when both men are naked.  The two great concerns here are that some observer might suspect you both of being gay and then the constant fear, of almost all adolescent boys, that it may inadvertently trigger the dreaded and usually embarrassing male sexual response.  

Even as boys grow to be men, these limits remain for most of us, some more firmly than others.  But there are some men who can see beyond these boundaries, especially when it comes to helping their fellow man.

So – why this rather odd introduction? Because it sets the stage for an event I witnessed and the reasons that it compelled me to write this essay.

As an adult, I have enjoyed going to various spas throughout the world.   Steam rooms, saunas, hot and cold baths, and various therapeutic showers are all appealing to me.   At a “Korean Spa” in the Dallas area I used to frequent, I witnessed one of the most extraordinary acts of kindness I have ever seen.

I was sitting in one of the many baths of warm water relaxing when I noticed an able-bodied young man pushing a wheelchair containing a disabled young man through what is called the wet area.   Within this area, all men are required to be fully nude; No shorts, no swimsuits; Nothing.    So, in keeping with the rules, both of these two young men were both nude.   I have no idea if these two young men were friends, brothers, relatives, lovers or if the able-bodied boy was some sort of paid caregiver.   For this essay, I will simply assume they were friends.  I was curious as to how the disabled boy would be able to enjoy the facilities, when my curiosity was suddenly satisfied.   The able-bodied boy pushed the chair alongside one of the warm pools, locked the wheels and without a moment of hesitation, walked around facing his friend.  He bent down and with arms extended, wrapped them around the disabled man and lifted him up into his arms.   Again, I want to remind you that they were both fully nude, so this breaks many of the taboos I have discussed.  The able-bodied young man carefully carried his friend into the hot tub and set him on one of the benches.   Once the young man was settled, he then exited the pool and moved the wheelchair out of the way.

To me, this was such an extraordinary act.  The able-bodied friend ignored all male taboos, ignored the fact that dozens of men were watching, ignored the suspicion and judgement he knew they were both silently encountering just to give his friend a relaxing a pleasant afternoon at the spa. 

May we all merit such a good friend in life.